Taking the Tuk Tuk Express - A Four Part Mini-Series (Part 1 of 4)

All's been quiet for our hero... a regular routine of going to work, teaching, coming home ... nothing out of the ordinary ... UNTIL ...

One fine, April 28th day, he comes across some sort of disturbance in the f .... wait, that's a different movie! He comes across a quite burly, harry, giant of a man who says that I'm a wiz ... k, nope, nope ... that's not right either. A man told me there was a hidden code in the Mona Lisa that I need to figure out? Oh yeah, that was a book I recently read ...

OK OK ... our hero decides that's it's been 7 months of teaching and he would like to take "A spin off from the real world" and ... Take the Tuk Tuk Express. So, he decided to pack his backpack and hop on a plane. Well, hop on 3 trains and then a plane to the Kingdom of Thailand. Not knowing what he was going to expect when he gets off that plane. Actually, yeah he did ... he was going to meet his good friend Leanne from Calgary who has been travelling in Asia since March. He was so excited to see his good friend again. As he was on the plane, he was thinking about the first thing she would say when he arrives, "It's so great to see you", " Wow, you look good" "I'm so happy you're here".

After a long 7 hour flight, a bus ride to the terminal which was difficult to get to because we had to cut through the thick wall of humidity and a long wait through customs, I made it to Bangkok, Thailand. I grabbed my backpack and proceeded to walk through a huge crowd of people who were on to me like a famous actor. Unfortunately, they weren't asking for my autograph ... they were all insisting they can give me an excellent deal on a taxi and find me a cheap hotel to stay. And it starts! So, I finally had come across Leanne. I'm waiting in anticipation and wondering what she will say. She comes up to me and says, "Let's get out of here before this guy behind me tries to haggle us with a hotel" followed by "I just got sick from food poisoning" ... And the adventure begins!

So, I had my first little cultural lesson about the people of Thailand ... be on your guard and be prepared to be taken. When they tell you that something will cost you a certain amount, it'll always be more than it should be. The taxi driver at the airport quoted us a flat rate for the taxi instead of using the meter. Luckily, Leanne was there because I probably would've said sure and not realize what happened. She was on to him and insisted he turn on the meter. Because she insisted, that cab ride went from the 300 baht flat rate to 200 baht on the meter. Good start ... Way to go Leanne!

We arrived at the Hotel Asia which is quite the hotel. Our room was huge. Definitely not like the little boxes that I'm use to here in Japan. It was a nice treat.

Day 1 - The start of a brand new exploration in this new country. I was very excited. Before we decided to go site seeing, there was one thing I, our hero, needed to do. He had to look good! From what I heard Thailand is notorious for it's tailored made suits. Made to your satisfaction and very cheap. So, I proceeded to find a tailor in this city. Definitely not a difficult feat. As soon as I stepped out of the hotel there were three of them within ten feet of each other. So, I walked over to the first one I saw. Of course, had to play the "Dodge the Taxi Driver" game. It's an interesting game, as soon as one toe touches the outside air, the taxi drivers are onto you like a bear with honey (k, so I couldn't think of a better analogy ... sue me). "Where you go? You need taxi?" "G'day mate! What you want to do? " ... it was annoying at first. But later on Leanne and I decided to make a game for ourselves. Before we leave the hotel, we would wager how many drivers would come up to us. When they do come up to us and ask their usual questions, I would answer "Don't need one buddy, but guess what? You're number 1" or "Ah sorry man, you're number 2". The confused look on their face was quite comical. Kind of got off topic, what was I talking about? Oh yeah ... looking good. So, I went into the tailor shop and got the man to show me some of his designs, materials, colors, etc. There were so many and I couldn't decide. I wanted to go for a unique style, kind of a funky color, etc. But in the end I decided it was probably wiser to go for something more common and conservative. GEOS has no sense of ha ha when it comes to dress codes, which is typical for a Japanese company. So, I went for a straight suit, 3 button jacket. I decided to get two made because it was cheaper. So, I picked a traditional black and dark brown. The final price for 2 suits came to be about $250. $125 each for a tailor made suit, which isn't bad. Of course I had to bargain with him, he quoted more. And to be honest I think I could've done better, but I wasn't sure how the bargaining thing worked in Thailand and I didn't want to under bid and tick the guy off. So, I figured since he originally quoted $200 per suit, I think I did pretty good.

After I got all measured up and I'm glad to say the tailor was not like Joey Tribioni's tailor (if you remember that episode of Friends), Leanne and I decided to go explore Bangkok. So, we hopped onto a little Tuk Tuk (pronounced took took- I'm starting to see the irony in that now). These are little 3 wheeler bikes with a bench seat in the back for people to sit in. It's a very cheap way of getting around the city. Also, quite dangerous, but then again so are all the Bangkok drivers. Of course, as usual we had to bargain with the driver. But, this guy wasn't so bad, he was young though, so maybe that's why. Usually, the drivers insist on taking you to different places before going to the final destination. The other places are usually markets where people try to sell you things. It turns out that if you buy something, the Tuk Tuk drivers get extra money for it. So, luckily this driver didn't take us to these places ... but, he did however, get very lost. We wanted to go to the most popular place in Bangkok, The Imperial Palace. How someone can miss that I have no idea. After a long and rather repeated site seeing tour we made it to the Imperial Palace. This was quite the place. I was in architecture heaven. The buildings were so detailed with sculptures, gold plated walls, murrals. The uniquely shaped architecture was amazing. We ended up spending a couple hours just walking around. I took lots of pictures. As we were about to leave, we came across a man giving boat tours around the Bangkok canals. The price was pretty reasonable so we decided to go for it. The ride was very interesting. We actually ended up seeing a typical Thai house. The houses were built on wooden stilts which were in the water. The places were run down and some even looked like they were on the verge of collapsing. It was strange seeing how these people live compared to the way we live. I knew Thailand wasn't a very rich country, but until seeing these places, I didn't know phow oor most of the people lived. In Thailand, it seems there is lower class and upper class, nothing in between. We saw some very rich looking houses as well, mixed among the poorer ones. The boat was definitely worth doing just to get a perspective. After the tour, we ended up going to a Buddhist temple where it had a giant statue of the resting Buddha. The statue was, well a statue of a Buddha lieing down on it's side taking a rest. The statue was huge. Again gold plated with a sheet of Mother of Pearl on the bottom of its feet. Quite the site. We ended up spending a few hours at the temple which, like the palace, had some amazing architecure.

As the day was coming to an end, we decided to head back to the hotel for a bit before experiencing the Bangkok night life. So, we grabbed another Tuk Tuk to head back. Well, we certainly picked a winner of a driver. As I mentioned earlier, there are drivers who like to take you to different market places. Well, this one was certainly insistent. He kept on telling us that he needed to go to one place first and we, or I should say Leanne, kept on telling him no, we want to go to the hotel. There was even a point where we told him to forget it and nearly jumped out. We decided to stay, but this driver wouldn't let up. He actually started ignoring Leanne because she kept on telling him no and was laying on to me. Apparently he thought I was going to give in or something. Anyway, as we were getting close to the hotel he kept on asking us for the money up front. And we kept on saying no, not until we get there. I think he asked five or six times before we finally told him to stop at the next corner and let us out. we were only a few blocks away from the hotel anyway, so it wasn't so bad. But after that experience we decided to stay away from the Tuk Tuk drivers. It was the sky train from then on.

Bangkok nightlife ... I can't think of a better word than "freakish". We went down to the red light district of Bangkok called Pat Pong. You can pretty much see and experience everything down there. How many places do you know where you can walk through a market and buy as many bootlegged items as you want. We're talking DVD's, watches from Rolex to Gucci, and then there's the various sex toys displayed everywhere. We came across one of the streets with a bunch of "pubs" that we decided to walk down. Nice looking pubs, not bad prices, we figured we'd pick one, have a drink. As I was walking I couldn't help notice there was something different about everyone. Then it dawned on me ... the buddy's sitting together at the tables, were certainly buddy buddy. We were definitely in the gay part of the district. At first we didn't think it was because we saw a whole bunch of women as well. Then we looked again ... nope! Unless a large percent of the female population in Thailand have adams apple's. Anyway, so we decided to go to another area and came across the sex bars of the district. I now understand where they got the "Pong" part in the name Pat Pong. It was hilarious, all these guys coming up to you trying to nudge you to go in and watch the "ping pong" show. Finally we came across a few normal bars (sorry to those who think the other one's were normal to you) . There were quite a few places with live bands that sounded good. We picked one that had a great atmosphere and the music wasn't bad. So, we decided to stay there for the rest of the night, listen to the music, have some drinks and basically people watch. It was interesting seeing the ratio of foreign men to Thai women. It was not until we realized later why it was like that. Did you know that there is a high percentage of foreign men who go to Thailand and "buy" themselves a companion for the week or two weeks they're there? Still haven't figured out how they do it, nor do I want to. But in the beginning, it was quite amusing. Later in the trip, we realized how more and more disturbing it was. Anyway, the night was coming close to the end, so we figured we'd pay up and take off. Now, here's an amusing story. One of those you'll look back and laugh kind of stories (still waiting for the day). Well, near the end of the night, nature was calling, as it would after a few beers. So, I headed up to the mens room. Well, as I was doing my business, I noticed a strange feeling, particularly in the shoulder area. I had no idea what it was until I noticed 2 hands on my shoulders. Some guy was trying to give me a massage. I politely turned around and went on his shoes (just kidding). I turned around and politely said "That's enough, thanks". I guess the look on my face didn't come across as polite as I wanted, he stopped right away. So, I quickly finished up, went to the sink where this guy was standing with another guy. The other guy handed me a towel to dry my hands. It turns out these two guys work there and that's basically their job. Wow, somehow I can't imagine the words "When I grow up I want to be a massage therapist ... in the public bathrooms" coming out of my mouth. So, as I was drying my hands, the same guy proceeded to massage my neck, this is where I decided to leave. Yeah ... It's all part of the adventure. Oh boy! Anyway, we left the bar shortly after. It would've been sooner, but Leanne was laughing too hard to move. I think she was jealous because they didn't have it in the women's bathroom. All in all the night was interesting, fun but interesting. I guess it was an experience I'll never forget.

Day 2 - After a rather eventful day yesterday, we decided to mellow out this day. Of course, our hero had to do his last minute fitting for the suits. Not bad, pants were a little tight, so they had to fix that, but all in all they came out perfect. We went to arrange our next trip at the train station which was heading down to the islands. Little did we know that the next part of the adventure was an experience we really wanted to forget. It started with not being able to get a seat on the overnight train, to over paying for an overnight bus trip. We ended up arranging everything at a travel agent including the hotel at our next destination ... a mistake we will never do again. One of the things in this journey we experienced are the travel agents are the crookedest (is that a word?) of them all. Never book anything through a travel agent in Thailand. You will end up paying more than you need to. Anyway, after paying them and realizing we weren't feeling comfortable about the whole situation, we decided to forget about it and enjoy the rest of the day. We ended up going to a shopping area, walked around, bought a few souvenirs, experienced some Thai food, which by the way is amazing. Then we went back to the hotel and spent a few hours by the pool. I don't think I mentioned this, but the weather was average 35 C and quite humid. So, it was nice being in water to cool off.

We headed back to the train station where we were about to begin out next part of the journey. The bus was about a half hour late and we were getting pretty ansy. Finally someone came by and escorted us to the bus. Little did I know what we were going to experience next.

To be continued ...